Chastisement & A New Phone Number

Well, the holidays have passed and I am once again in school. I won't spare time talking about my break, most of you talk to me or e-mail me, and have already heard how things went. Instead, I'll give you a run-down on the first week of school, and a wonderful time with God this morning. This first week back has been difficult emotionally and spiritually. I am not completely sure why, but for some reason, I have had a reluctance every morning to get out of bed - a dread that somehow this day will not be worth getting into the shower. I have laid in bed, praying sometimes for 10 or 15 minutes, just for the strength to face my day and whatever it would hold. There is no emergency, no blatant cause for my troubles, but I have felt like I don't have the strength or resources to do what I am being asked to do. And because of that, I didn't even want to try. John Mann and some others have been prayer warriors for me all week. Along with praying, they have been constantly reminding me that they are praying, God is in control, and I will make it through this. God has given me strength and blessing each day, but it has been a struggle. I believe it will be one for some time, but this morning in my devotions, I was reminded that God cares about me - not just loves me, but is concerned for me.

When Peter stated that he would never desert his Lord, and Jesus tells him that indeed he will - Jesus tells him that Satan is going to sift them, but Jesus also says, but I have prayerd for you. He prayed also for all his followers when He was in the garden. Now, I know all of these facts, but the concern of God has never been more obvious to me than today. Why do we pray for things - because they are important to us, because we care about them. It was almost as if I could hear God saying to me, "I know you are going to make it, but I am concerned that you don't know this." I can see his forehead crinkle and his eyes soften as He hears my complaints and fears. And his desire to give me a spirit of courage and victory is not because He is sick of me being defeated, it's because His heart hurts when I hurt. He wants me to be victorious for my sake.
Like I said, all of this has been in my head and heart many times before. But something about hurting today and this past week, made God's affection very evident to me.

Now, on to happier matters. I have a new phone number - So call me people! It is 317 498 3935. I have already had some wonderful conversations, and I hope there will be many more to come. Another happy note - last night I was with the youth at Mike Bank's house until around 9:30, then I went to Crystal's until about 10, then I came home and, after talking to Kimber and Colb, I went to bed. I did not wake up until 11 this morning. It felt wonderful, and I guess I needed the rest.